HASH V1:CH2 The Secret

In this installment of Hardcastle's Adventures in Self Help, I dive into Chapter 2 of The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. Each chapter of The Secret contains "Secret Summaries" at the end which I've . . . edited . . . to better reflect reality. Enjoy!


Chapter 2: The Secret Made Simple

I was wrong to assume that Ms. Byrne did not anticipate that people might call her out for being callous in her victim-blaming. She covers that with a quote from Dr. Joe Vitale, author of Attract Money Now:

“Everything that surrounds you right now in your life, including the things you're complaining about, you've attracted. Now I know at first blush that's going to be something that you hate to hear. You're going to immediately say, 'I didn't attract the car accident. I didn't attract this particular client who gives me a hard time. I didn't particularly attract the debt.” And I'm here to be a little bit in your face and to say, yes you did attract it. This is one of the hardest concepts to get, but once you've accepted it, it's life transforming.”

Yes, Dr. Vitale. It is hard to get when you apply it outside the field of first-world-problems. I'd wager that Dr. Vitale has never suffered rape, losing his home to a natural disaster, watching his country blown to shit during a war, the loss of a young child, or hunger so persistent that you cannot remember a single day in your life when you had enough food. “No one would ever deliberately attract anything unwanted,” says Ms. Byrne, but those who have suffered actual tragedies rather than minor obstacles were “on the same frequency as the event.”

Okay, Rhonda. Two things:

1. You keep using that word, “frequency.” I don't think it means what you think it means. If it's a frequency, it's a measurable phenomenon.

2. You're kind of a bitch.

 Here's what I'm still anticipating, and what I know I will not be wrong about: that despite all these constant assertions, I'm never going to be provided with any actual evidence of the cosmic karma frat rapist genie. Instead, most of her “evidence” lies in simple declarations by the guests providing little blurbs in her books:

“When you're feeling down, did you know that you can change it in an instant? Put on a beautiful piece of music, or start singing—that'll change your emotion.”

You mean if I find a pleasing activity or thought to distract me from things that cause me worry, I'll be distracted by how pleasing it is? Fucking groundbreaking! Guess the rest must be true as well, then. Bob Proctor, whoever the fuck that is, states some incredibly simplistic truth about basic cognitive processes, but unsurprisingly there is no mention of the equally basic psychological concept that not dealing with the source of your stress means it isn't going to go away.

And one final thing before I go into the summaries:

"Marie Shimoff shared a wonderful quote from the great Albert Einstein: 'The most important question any human being can ask themselves is, 'Is this a friendly Universe?' 

"Knowing the law of attraction, the only answer to give is, 'Yes, the Universe is friendly.'"

Wait, friendly? Four fucking pages ago Rhonda Byrne said the universe was impartial. So which is it?

Secret Summaries:

The law of attraction is a law of nature. It is as impartial as the law of gravity, which is why it gives a shit at all about what you are thinking about. 

Nothing can come into your experience unless you summon it through persistent thoughts, so again, your sexual assault was due to your frequency rather than rape culture or a violent perpetrator.

To know what you're thinking, ask yourself how you are feeling. Emotions are valuable tools that instantly tell us what we are thinking. See how wise I am? I use simple logical statements in my premise at times, therefore the rest can just be assertions.

It is impossible to feel bad and at the same time have good thoughts. There is nothing about the fact that I am talking to you like a child that should put you off of this book.

Your thoughts determine your frequency, and your feelings tell you immediately what frequency you are on. There are only two frequencies, so complex feelings that can be considered neither negative nor positive, such as ambivalence, apprehension, or surprise, just don't exist.

Secret Shifters, such as pleasant memories, nature, or your favorite music, can change your feelings or shift your frequency in an instant, and should not in any way be considered ignoring or putting a band-aid on the real cause of your suffering or anxiety.

The feeling of love is the highest frequency you can emit. If you love someone to a great intensity, and they do not return the feeling, simply up the intensity. If they call you a stalker, then their negative thoughts will draw love notes attached to bricks through their windows, threatening emails, and surveillance through binoculars. And when that someone calls the cops, you can tell them it was The Universe, not you, and your positive thinking will keep you out of jail.

Previously:

Chapter 1
Intro