Chapter 3 – How to Use the Secret.
I couldn't believe it--Rhonda Byrne actually refers to this law of attraction as a “Genie”
in Chapter 3. I'm not sure if it's supposed to be a metaphor. In this chapter we find out The Creative Process, which involves the word "creation" apparently in the godlike sense--using your thoughts to manifest physical things.
Step 1: Ask
“You get to choose what you want, but you must get clear about what you want. This is your work. If you're not clear, then the law of attraction cannot bring you want you want.”Okay, so remind me again why the law doesn't recognize the word "no?" If I can do it subconsciously, why do I need to be clear?
Step 2: Believe
“You must believe that you have received. You must know that what you want is yours the moment you ask. You must have complete and utter faith.”And with that, Mrs. Byrne, you have irreversibly placed your book in the Unfalsifiable Shit Pile.
Another gem from
Dr. Vitale illustrates her point:
“The Universe will start to rearrange itself to make it happen for you . . . You don't need to know how it's going to come about. You don't need to know how the Universe will rearrange itself.”
Yep, the
Universe will indeed change for you and you alone, because you
deserve it more than victims of tragedies and you are more specialer
than them. And don't worry about how it happens—certainly don't
take any action to make your life what you want it to be. You
don't need to understand anything because the Universe is on your
side, so don't think about the “how” part too hard. Don't really think about any of this too hard--just think about getting more money.
Step 3: Receive
Hey, Ronda Byrne:
if your method works so well, then why in the fuck haven't you
applied it beyond the narrow little scope of your own narcissistic
ass and solved the hunger problem? Or “received” a cure for AIDS?
If this law is so impartial, and if it truly manifests whatever you
are thinking of, do you just like, not think about other people or
their problems?
I realize this thought has likely occurred to every single person on the planet who takes issue with this book. It's no less annoying each time I think it. Self-help is obviously not for the selfless. Books like these feed our narcissism and insecurity, not our compassion.
Now, this wouldn't
be a proper self-help book without the bit that tells you about how
diet and exercise don't work, but that the author knows the real secret:
“It's the very reason why diets don't work. Because you are focused on losing weight, you must attract back continually having to lose weight . . . Food cannot cause you to put on weight, unless you think it can.”SEEMS LEGIT. So I guess I can stop this whole eat-healthy-and-exercise routine, because if I just sit around thinking “I can eat only bacon and Sour Patch Kids and be fine” it'll happen! Because the law of attraction is so powerful it can defy real science, even though it so desperately wants real science on its side.
On the subject of
how long it will take, the author and her minions insist that time is
meaningless, which is curious considering that her premise is built on thoughts having "frequencies" which the Universe responds to. Time is intrinsic in the definition of a frequency; for example, 1 Hz = once per second.
“The Universe
does everything with zero effort. The grass doesn't strain to grow.
It's effortless. It's just this great design,” says Bob Doyle,
who then added LOL WHAT IZ ENERGIES? He also adds that you should
“Make it your intention to attract a cup of coffee
today.”
Funny, because I just made some, and it's brewing behind me! Amazing—thinking positive thoughts about wanting a coffee manifested in me getting up and making a god-damned pot of coffee.
Funny, because I just made some, and it's brewing behind me! Amazing—thinking positive thoughts about wanting a coffee manifested in me getting up and making a god-damned pot of coffee.
Secret
Summaries:
Like Aladdin's Genie, the law of
attraction grants our every command. And like Aladdin's Genie, the
law of attraction is definitely not fictional.
The Creative Process helps you
create what you want in three simple steps: ask, believe, and
receive. Rabid Twilight fans: take note. Use this method to leave this universe and reappear in the Twilight universe. Please. We all know you want to.
Asking the
Universe for what you want is your opportunity to get clear about
what you want. As you get clear in your mind, you have asked. Which
directly contradicts earlier statements about how your frequencies
aren't always conscious or deliberate, which is what I used to
justify shitty things happening to people who don't deserve it, but
that's the way it works, because Universe.
Believing
involves acting, speaking, and thinking as though you have already
received what you've asked for. Insisting and acting as if you are
rich will in no way plunge you into debt or make people think you are
either a pathological liar or utterly delusional.
Receiving
involves feeling the way you will feel once your desire has
manifested. Somehow this is distinct from the previous step, and has
nothing to do with actually receiving the desire itself, because you
probably won't unless you get off your ass.
To lose weight,
don't focus on “losing weight.” Instead, focus on your perfect
weight. Then, you are free to cram your face-hole with donuts and
cheeseburgers. Rather than exercising, it's more effective to simply sit and think.
It takes no time for the Universe
to manifest what you want. It is as easy to manifest one dollar as
one million dollars. Physical concepts like time and energy are
rendered meaningless by the concepts in my book, which I know,
because a quantum physicist contributed a few blurbs.
Starting with something small, like
a cup of coffee or parking spaces, is an easy way to experience the
laws of confirmation bias in action. Powerfully intend to utilize
hindsight bias when evaluating these experiences. As you experience
the power you have to disregard the mechanisms of cause-and-effect,
you will move on to making all your friends roll their eyes every
time you talk about your day.
Create your day in advance by
thinking the way you want it to go, and you will torture yourself
every time your expectations are not reached because, despite your
good intentions, reality does not bend itself to cater to you.
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